Forgetting the past
by Secret Starr
Summary: Forgetting the past is not always easy. Especially when you've done some unforgettable things which landed you in a mental institution. Yumi/Ulrich near the end.
1. The Beginning

_Dear Journal-_

_They gave me this journal to write how I feel...how do I feel? Depressed, betrayed, and over all angry. I don't know what to do about anything anymore. _

_What landed me here? At Dingue Hospital for the insane people that are put here? Where did it end? More like when did it began?_

_I guess this is what this stupid book they force me to write in. To tell my story. To tell how in hell I got here. This book is what they call "therapy". I'm fine! Why can't everyone leave me alone?!_

_It's summer vacation right now. I bet Ulrich is back in Germany, Jeremie is still at the school, Aelita...she's probably with Jer. And Odd? Who ever knows what he's doing?_

_This is now my book, the book of my existence they call a life. _

_This is the Journal of Yumi Ishiyama._


	2. Letting Everything Slip Away

**dreamer- **Happy? I updated! Anyway, it'll all be explained. Whenever it's not her journal, it's a flashback. Got it? Good.

**PeaceToThePeople- **Thanks for your review! I kinda like the idea too...but get ready for a heavy chapter.

* * *

Yumi walked alone to school. Her head down to the pavement of the sidewalk she glared at.

Angst filled her mind. Her "friends" had been too busy to hear what was wrong. Her mom and dad had been fighting, worse than usual. Every fight threatened divorce, every yell ended with one of them driving away for a "break". And the only one to comfort Hiroki was Yumi, when she didn't even feel confident herself.

When she reached the courtyard of the school, she saw Ulrich, Aelita, Jeremie, and Odd waiting for her. Pulling on the smile she wore to mask herself, she greeted them.

"Hey guys."

"Hi Yumi, whatcha been up to?" Odd said in his chipper voice, as usual.

Yumi shrugged. "Not much, just stupid homework."

Her mind then turned to that sour thought as well. She hadn't done her homework in a month, letting her grades fall from A's and B's to C's and D's. Why didn't she care? Why had she let so many things slip between her fingers?

"Yumi, are you okay?" Ulrich said quietly to her, not letting the others hear.

"Oh! I'm fine!" Yumi said in surprise, annoyed with herself that she had let herself frown for even a few seconds.

Ulrich gave her a look that let her know that he didn't buy it, but luckily for her, the bell rang.

"Well, see ya guys. If I don't get to chemistry, I'm going to have to do detention." She gave a sarcastic look of annoyance as Aelita chuckled.

"Go to chemistry, then!" Aelita chided her cheerily, making Yumi smile faintly.

"I'm going, I'm going." Yumi said, sounding like she was fighting with her mother. "See ya later."

--

"And now we see that chemical X and chemical Y produce a bubbling reaction."

Yumi zoned out from the teacher's speech. Who cared about freaking chemical X and Y?

Obviously William did.

"Yumi! Pay attention" William gently hissed at her, catching her almost putting in a clear liquid that would explode the entire experiment.

"Oh, sorry!" Yumi whispered back, putting down the flask. "I guess I'm just tired. I only got..." She thought. "No sleep last night."

William smiled. "Me too. In fact, I was writing this for you." He said, pulling something out of his pocket and handing it over to Yumi, who smiled back.

"Thanks."

"Anytime." William said with a shrug.

--

Finally, the school day was over. That meant going home to do "homework", which she might actually do...maybe.

"See ya, Yumes!" Odd called to her, waving his hand to her as he lead Ulrich to the dorms.

"Bye!" She called back to him, walking the long way home to her house.

"What do you mean?!"

'_Oh no, there fighting again.'_ Yumi thought, her heart sinking. This was the third day in a row that they were yelling at each other.

"What do I mean?! I mean that you don't do ANYTHING for me anymore!"

"You're drunk, Takeo!"

'_Hiroki...' _Yumi thought.

She hurried up the stairs and looked into his room, finding him not there, she turned down the hall to her room, in which she saw him, knees to his chest, looking blankly in front of him.

Yumi would usually get mad at Hiroki for being in her room, but seeing him look at empty as she felt made her anger turn into pity.

"It's okay." She said, sitting next to him, putting an arm around his shoulders.

"Not it's not."

"Well, it will be." She said, assuring him.

"HIROKI!"

The small boy immediately perked up at his name being called so loudly.

"Get down here!" They heard their mother shriek.

"YUMI! You too!" Their dad called as well.

The two looked at each other with worried glances as they scrambled to their feet to race down the stairs only to look into their angry parents eyes.

"Hiroki." Mrs. Ishiyama said. "We're going on a little trip. Get into the car."

He looked at Yumi, tears forming in his eyes.

"Now!"

"Bye, Yumi."

"Bye Hiroki."

They hugged briefly before Hiroki made his way to the garage.

"Yumi, you're staying with me." Mr. Ishiyama growled, going into the kitchen.

She watched her mother turn on her heel with a "Hump!" and followed Hiroki to the car.

Hearing the garage door open, the car pulling out, and the garage door closing, Yumi heard her mother drive away. She sat on the stairs, looking at the hardwood floors below her feet and felt tears prick her eyes, which she hurriedly blinked away when she heard her father yelling to her in the kitchen.

"Yes?" She said quietly.

"Come here, closer." He said, glaring at her, as she walked closer to him.

"You look just like your mother..." He said, his voice still angry. "I _hate_ your mother!"

He gripped her upper arm, squeezing it hard. She looked from his hand to his face, it being mad with rage.

"Dad...?" She questioned him, starting to worry now.

He simply threw her to the ground, starting to breath hard.

"You're mother is a whore." He started, walking over to his daughter.

"Dad! Don't say that!" Yumi protested, starting to scoot way from him.

He, however, caught up to her and slapped her across the face.

"I'll say whatever I want!" He roared.

Yumi looked at him in shock. The way that her father had hit her made her feel weak...she felt terrified of him.

He now grabbed her arms again, his eyes full or rage, as he stood her up only to punch her in her collar bone.

"Dad! Stop! Mom's right! You're drunk!" She yelled at him, feeling tears run down her face, running to the door of the kitchen, making her way up the stairs.

An arm grabbed her leg and she fell, feeling her mouth start to bleed from the impact it had made with the hard stair.

"I'm not done with you yet, Aiko!" Her father said.

"I'm not mom!"

Immediately, her father's eyes turned from rage to anger, panting hard, sweat on his forehead.

"Go." He said under his breath. "GO!"

Not needed to be told a third time, Yumi ran out the front door and started running, tears still streaming down her face.


	3. Back into Isolation

**LabyrinthDweller- **Wow, long review and thanks! Yeah, he's okay. I'm not very found of him, (don't kill me!) but he's okay, and he's kinda important in this chapter. Thanks for your review!

Get ready for some angst...

* * *

_Dear Journal-_

_Still in the hell hole. Just waiting to be released. Don't know when that's going to happen, however. Who know's how long? Months, years, decades? Okay, most likely not decades, but maybe if I keep acting up like I have been._

_It started with Doctor Nelson. My consoler. He says I can call him whatever I want. I said I wanted to call him shit head, but he then said I could call him __almost_ _anything I want...so now he's just Nelson._

_So I'm sitting in his office now and I'm just bored. He's talking about ways to better improve myself and how I can take away from this "experience". _

_Then he starts getting himself in trouble. He says that I'm basically a nut case and they're going to try__ to make me "better". Something about bi-polar and psychotic depression. Whatever they are, all they make me feel is sad, angry, and empty._

_But right now I'm angry. _

_He says that my father's actions have just made me stronger. How I could have "better" handled the "situation" of my drunk father that's __still__ not put in jail for hitting everyone and their dog. My mother who abandoned our "family" and how Hiroki's now in child services. How they need as much help as me._

_And that's where he makes me mad._

_If they need as much help as me, then why am __I__ the one stuck here? Where is the justice in this system?! _

_Then he's asking what's going through my head. I said some...choice words. A lot of them. Then I threw one of those huge decorative marble balls out of his window and it shattered the entire thing._

_While it made me feel better, it also made me go back into the isolation level._


	4. Never

**PeaceToThePeople- **Thanks. I really wanted to make Yumi's point on angst clear. Did I do it right? :D

**RxC HxA- **Yes, Yumi and Ulrich will take a while, but I can't resist NOT having a couple in this emo/depressing story! :D --again...

**LabyrinthDweller- **Hahaha! Isolation! Yeah, laughing would probably get you a strait jacket! (Eh he he!)

**Black-Cat-2095- **Ta-da! Update!

Long story short- Just moved, don't have a computer at my new place (yet) and all I have to offer is this- (peace offering?)

* * *

'_Run, run, run._'

Yumi kept running, repeating the same sequence of words over in her mind.

'_Run, run, run.'_

Before she knew it, she was deep into the forest, almost near the pot hole they used to get to the factory for Lyoko.

She slowed her run, looking around her, only to lean against a tree. Sliding down, she put her hands to her head, tears falling down her face even more so now. Hot tears against the evening started making her shiver, even with her black, long sleeve shirt.

Yumi breathed heavily, her lungs on fire as they would inhale the cold air and exhale any heat she had in her body. Her face wet with tears and sweat only sucked more warmth out of her. Her legs aching from not stretching before she ran, let alone running in the cold air.

_'Who do I go to? Who _can_ I go to?' _She thought.

The rest of her family was still in Japan, somewhere she could barely remember.

Her friends? Like she'd go to them...except if she called...

"Yumi?"

"Ulrich?"

"Yeah, hey, what's up?" He asked casually.

"Nothing...nothing much just uh..." Her voice was about to crack, she had to stop herself.

"Yumi? You still there?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm here. I just wanted to talk is all."

"It's only been two hours after school. You know, you could come here for dinner-"

"No!" She half shrieked. "Uh...no. I'm just in my...pajamas right now." Yumi looked herself over. Her shirt had gotten a rip in it from running through the Forrest and she probably had dirt all on her bottom now.

"Uh, okay." Ulrich said hesitantly. "Are you okay?"

"Me? I'm fine...just...tiered." She said, her heart slowing down as more tears threatened to show upon her face. "Hey, I've a...gotta go." She hiccuped. "Bye."

"Yumi? You oka-"

She hung up her phone and sobbed as she collapsed into her own body.

Her friends could never know.

Never.


End file.
